Reflection

People who lack insight baffle me. People who act holier-than-thou, know exactly what you should be doing in your life and moral policing you without stopping to reflect on their own flaws infuriate me so much. 

Allah hid their flaws. Allah did not reveal to the world what filth they are a part of in their private lives. 

Does it not scare them? That if our sins which have such a huge punishment in this world, are being concealed, what punishment awaits us in the hereafter?

Yet, they have the audacity to point fingers at others. 

How does it not eat you up from inside? The things you do or the things you did? How do you even have the time to discuss what you think others are doing wrong?

The arrogance - the pride - the double standards - looking down on others - for their lineage, for belonging to a certain area - it disgusts me. 

Sometimes I want to scream at the top of my lungs and shake them so hard to hear if their empty brains rattle in their skulls. But I can't. Is it anger? Or is it truly grief, that I also love these people and can't do anything about it but dissociate from them? When what I really want is to be held, to be loved, without questions. But it's a big ask. And I won't ask for it. Maybe that ego and arrogance and pride lies in me too. Maybe I too am filled with so much anger that it has blinded me - to my own flaws. 

I think prayers to Allah should include prayers for clarity of thought, for clarity of heart and for the ability to reflect on ourselves more than anyone else. For us to find the courage to accept our flaws, to ask forgiveness for it, and to be able to work on the path to betterment as a person - since that cannot happen till we admit that there is something wrong, something flawed, something human ... 
In the end apart from asking for forgiveness from Allah, we also should ask for courage - for us to forgive ourselves and those we think wronged us. And this is the hardest part for a mere mortal to do - since forgiveness is truly a divine attribute.