Don't blame yourself. I know you do. For wanting things that not everyone wants. For not wanting things that everyone wants.
Don't blame yourself. For the choices you made. That everyone disagrees with. They never walked in your shoes. They didn't know what it felt like. As long as your intentions were right, you didn't want to harm anyone - you tried to make the best of the options left for you. You did not know how they would turn out. Neither did anyone else. Everyone was guessing based on what life has thrown at them, based on their experiences.
Don't blame yourself.
Don't blame yourself - for whom you loved. You saw something in them in a way that no one else did. Even if it was a mirage, it was yours. You swallowed that poison without letting it poison you. Wear your scars boldly.
I know it hurts. I don't know if gets better. Based on what life has thrown at me - it doesn't. But don't let that hold you back - from hoping, from dreaming, from aspiring and desiring. One day it will all come to an end anyway. Don't live waiting for that day. One day at a time - just breathe.
